INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Dislocated Nose

Dislocated nose is commonly caused by collisions of the face with automobile door mirrors. The nose can be surgically relocated to any area (within a two-inch margin of error) using our super-expensive and high maintainence Nose-O-Tron™ machine we bought last year that noone has let us try out on them yet.

INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Spondulating Heart

More commonly caused by listening to too many power ballads. Causes excessive soppiness and crying in the presence of puppies. May lead to becoming a new man, avoid at all costs. Recommended course of action; kicking a wall while shouting while listening to Motorhead.

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